First rant (experimental)


What are the most awesome things in life?

– That is a stupid question but thanks for asking that. It’s simple. Videogames and dropping sick beats. And tits. What is even more awesome, when these things are free and readily available. Like if one has a girlfriend. A real one. Not the kind you pay 10 dollars to post a comment on your wall and a badly photoshopped picture of you holding hands. Oh well.

And when fan-based modders go and release awesome games for free for other fans, and especially when these are made be people who know what they love and are good at doing it. Like, just to throw it out in the air, Classic Doom for Doom 3 by Flaming Sheep Software.

It was more goddamn fun then I’ve had playing the actual game it was built on, and it was totally free, with an awesome soundtrack. The only thing that totally embittered me from that game and still causes my blood-pressure to rocket, is the fact that it worked on 25 % of the computers I tried installing it on. (And yes dumbass, I tried everything, went to all the forums, updated my drives, sacrificed onto the ancestral spirits, everything). And the only one it worked on…was my girlfriends computer, so I only played it for three days when she was out of town. And it was awesome. It was especially cool how all the monsters acted totally differently when they weren’t crammed into claustrophobic little corridors and airducts. And the zombies…oh how the zombies were so much more fun in bigger numbers, lurching their way at you in big open spaces, like the real apocalypse we are all waiting for.

Anyway, there is even something more awesome under way. In just six hours and 49 minutes. Black Mesa Source. Hell-mother-fucking-yeah. A fan-made total conversion of the classic Half Life on the Half Life 2 source-engine, and it…is…fucken…free!! Possibly the only reason I’m revering this so much is because I only heard about it a week ago, unlike the serious fan-boys, who have been waiting since 2009 and have had to deal with years of delays and broken expectations.

Another reason, is that I bought Half Life Source on Steam, with big promises of updates with their new source engine, and damn was I disappointed. It was just as ugly as when it came out. The Havok physics engine hadn’t changed anything, you couldn’t lift boxes and grenades didn’t bounce like I expected, and the only difference to 1998 I had noticed, was that the water looked better. That was it. I couldn’t even consider it an improvement, it just stood out like a sore thumb, or like if somebody painted googly eyes over The Last Supper, or did a production of Hamlet with terminators, or even more like the poor gimmicky CG-effects added into the original Star Wars trilogy in the early 2000s. It. Just. Didn’t. Work. Anyway, this was really my fault for getting my expectations too high, but I digress. If you are Valve, and add *Source at the end of a re-released title, I should expect something to be changed a bit more radically.

Anyway, I am just bitching over peanuts, because though it had changed only in the most minimal fashion, it was still fun as anything. It was still fun, clever, challenging and everything it should be, and even felt quite fresh after a generation of homogenous cover-based-shooters, where the game holds your hand through the entire game with sound advice, like “If you die a lot, try to not get hurt.”, and you regain health after 0.34 seconds of hiding behind a chest-high wall and breathing really hard. This game was more of the oldskool type, going something like: “Oh you want to relax just casually playing a game. Well fuck you! You are not the fucking developer! I own your shit now, and there is nothing on the menu but butt-hurt!”

But anyway, I’m really looking forward to it, so I can completely waste my weekend in a caffeine and photosensitive epilepsy induced haze, having a ridiculous amount of fun.


More rants when I can be bothered. Play that shit.;76946

ps. I don’t want to give the wrong idea here. Valve is awesome, and virtually everything they release makes me lactate Irish Stout. I love Gabe Newell and his happy band of Cut-throats to bits. Seriously. And the hats. In an industry where everyone is trying to squeeze the maximum amount of money for the least amout of expensive innovation and risk (what’s the point when you can just copy Halo?), and order hitmen after anyone trying to mess with their profits, Valve’s philosophy is all about giving people more hats. Damn I love hats. And fan-made test-chambers for Portal 2 in the Steam Workshop? ❤


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