The election is over! President Obama is still Overlord! I am not going to have to hear Mitt Romney pronounce “Ch-aabs” again. What were those bloody things anyway. He was pretty adamant about Ch-aabs though. He didn’t want to kill Ch-aabs, he wanted to create Ch-aabs. Possibly some type of animal.
Yes! It was over before even starting. So many people were absolutely convinced this was going to be as tight as the 2000 election, and I was there in my University, ready to watch the thing unfold minute by minute. But then it was over before I even left the house. Motherfucker. The leading political scientists were going absolutely apeshit over this election, and many were afraid we were going to repeat the 2000 aftermath, in a very strange scenario where Romney may take the popular vote, but Obama slightly win over the Electoral Collage. I was lucky enough to watch a lecture given by Professor Larry Evans, who in the end had a very accurate model over the election, combining a poll of polls, that predicted Obama would win by a likelihood on some 70%, with a very even popular vote results.
But all that was unnecessary, as Obama won very early, by as much as almost one hundred electorates. So all hail the Chief. Also, Mitt Romney made a very nice Concession speech, a stark opposite to what McCain delivered in 2008, and Obama also gave a very good and emotional, as well as very positive, speech an hour later. I think most people outside the US are quite pleased about the results, as Romney has managed to scare a lot of people in a relatively short time, as he was quite a serious competitor to President Obama to the very last.
One of the most worrying things concerning Romney is of course his Top-Down economic policy, his non-existent tax-plan, as well as the fact, that no one really knew what he would do, if he did take the office. He has changed his views almost with the same frequency as his socks, leading to coining two new terms (Romnesia and Mittology) and completely zooming through the political spectrum between the Republican Primaries and the November election, starting somewhere between Skeletor and Margaret Thatcher, ending up occupying the bland political space of the very-carefully-moderate right. At least you have to hand it to the man, the dude’s got no shame.
In more distressing news, Todd Akin has also lost the race to Claire McCaskill in Mississippi. Some unkind voices have carried on to comment: Rape just got a little less legitimate. A moment of silence for the loss of a great Statesman, and a true scholar of the female anatomy.
So, regardless of whether you are happy about the results or not, at least it’s finally over with continuous twits (correct form of twitter-message) from President Obama. Thank Fuck.
So it’s been a very entertaining campaign, both candidates sinking around 1 billion dollars and innumerable hours of campaign work into it, but alas, all good things must come to an end. At least we can still look back at all the highlights: Romney dismissing poor people as lazy freeloaders, Clint Eastwood yelling at a chair (and the chair talking back, that is just messed up) in front of the Republican elite and 450 million Americans, Paul Ryan breaking into a homeless shelter to have his picture taken washing clean dishes, Joe Biden making some seriously uncomfortable comments about slavery, Rick Perry forgetting his points in a live debate, Herman Cain confused over where and what Libya is, Chuck Norris promising a thousand years of darkness if Obama is re-elected…it’s all good.